Woman with her hands over her face feeling insecure with photos scattered around her head

5 Ways To Overcome Insecurity and Cultivate Confidence

Does your insecurity get in the way of living the life you truly desire? 

Maybe self-doubt is holding you back from starting that new project or business venture.

Or perhaps you lack the confidence to voice your ideas or opinions in a meeting or to significant others.

When we feel insecure about ourselves, we doubt our ability.  Feeling as if something is standing in our way, we struggle to take action on our desires.

We make irrational interpretations about the situation and our ability to handle an appropriate outcome, often thinking of worse case scenarios.

This lack of trust in ourselves enhances our feelings of doubt as we worry about being judged or criticised by others.

Our struggle with insecurity arises from the critical dialogue that goes on in our heads.

Often referred to as the inner critic, it anticipates our proposed actions and, in no uncertain terms, lets us know why that idea will not work the way we intended it to.

It doesn’t mince words, and for many of us, it can be degrading and very personal in its attack.

These words can stop us dead in our tracks, causing us to doubt our ability and ourselves.

Shaped in childhood from hurtful attitudes or events we experienced. We have unconsciously absorbed and internalised these destructive patterns of thought towards ourselves, damaging our self-confidence.

Here are some proactive ways to overcome your insecurity and regain confidence

1. Manage your inner critic. 

Often we react to the negative self-talk without even being consciously aware that it is occurring in our heads.

And while the purpose of your inner critical voice is there to protect you from possible threats, it can seem to cause more harm than good.

But by learning to recognise it and identify the physical sensations that happen in your body as a result, you can listen to it without being influenced by it. (click here for ways to manage your inner critic)

2. Practice self-acceptance.

We are often quick to remember our flaws and limitations and find it challenging to acknowledge those areas we are competent in.

And while the need for improvement can open doors to higher learning and increase your self-esteem for mastering new skills.

It can loses value when it becomes an obsession for achievement at the expense of enjoying what comes naturally to you.

We are all good at certain things and not that good at other things.

Take the time to focus on what comes naturally to you, along with those things you enjoy doing and accept there will be things you cannot change.

This doesn’t mean you are flawed but somewhat human.

3. Create a success list. 

Write down all the events and circumstances you have successfully handled in the past.

Continue to record events that you, fortunately, navigated even though you may have initially doubted yourself.

Read this list each morning, reliving the experience.

This practice will provide your mind with the evidence that you can take action, handling circumstances, and in turn, will increase your confidence.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others. 

This is somewhat difficult in the age of social media when you see photos of others having a good time or excelling in something that you are struggling with.

The key to remember here is when you look at something, you give it your subjective meaning.

It only becomes hurtful because you tell ourselves a story about how they have it all together, and you don’t.

We are all born with a unique set of talents, and we experience different circumstances, which strengthen our abilities and knowledge in various areas of life.

Comparing yourself to other people is an unhealthy habit.

Embrace your uniqueness, accept who you are and commit to being the best version of yourself.

5. Include self-compassion in your daily routine.

Leading on from accepting things you can’t change, it’s often comforting to understand that you are not alone in feeling this way.

We all suffer from self-doubt and lack confidence in different areas of our life.

Acknowledge your feelings and speak words of kindness as you would to a good friend going through the same thing.

Think about what you would say to them; how would you encourage them?

Now apply it to yourself.

You are the change agent in your life.

Start treating yourself with kindness and be your own advocate.

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